my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
