I just pynch a tree in the face
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
