At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
