He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
