how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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