Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
