My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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