yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
