What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
