JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
