This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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