Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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