After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize