I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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