remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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