K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
