the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
