first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
