Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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