matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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