That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
