i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
