Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
