Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
