Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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