where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Pappa wants mamma naked
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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