I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
