wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
