took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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