Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
