I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
