question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
