An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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