I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize