She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
