Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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