Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
