I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
