2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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