About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
