Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
