remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
