I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
