Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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