ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
