youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
