Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
