You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
