is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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