My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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