the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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