i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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