Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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