That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
