This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
