I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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