So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
