Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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