Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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