No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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