i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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