I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize