Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
