you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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