i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
