she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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