I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
