Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
