i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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