I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she was so not down for the gang bang
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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