what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
